without fail.

over the last four weeks or so i've been doing a lot of thinking. mainly about my lifestyle choices, the people i know, the people i don't but should, my faith, my goals, all of that. i began to question why i follow christianity, and why i chose to do so in the first place. i thought about if it was worth me continuing on with it, or whether i should just drop it all and act as everyone else. however this thought made me uncomfortable, so then i began questioning that.


i haven't been a christian for a very long time at all in comparison to some, and i'm not from a christian family. i started looking at how i became to be one, and how my life changed. turns out i'm a totally different person now to the person i was about eighteen months ago before i was 'saved'. however, that's a whole different story.


then i started thinking "what if none of this is real?", but the fact is, if it isn't then i will have lived a happy and full life regardless, however i am sure within myself that there is a God, and he loves us more than we'll ever know. i can't deny it, not even if i tried. without knowing God, i wouldn't have any plan for my life. to some people, this may sound absolutely ridiculous but it's true. but again, that's a different story.


i'm not trying to preach at people, i'm not trying to force people into Jesus, because i know what that's like. i'm also aware that having religion shoved in your face is absolute crap and no one likes it. but i created a blog to write here what matters to me, and this definitely does.


for those of you who know me well, i know that sometimes i slip up and i'm probably not the best example of a typical christian. i say things i shouldn't, sometimes i act how i probably shouldn't, i swear like a sailor, and often things get too distracting for me to pick up a bible, if i'm honest.  but i'm not trying to stick to a set of rules, just be in a relationship with God.

without fail, whenever i'm down, he picks me up like no one else can, and he continuously does so, regardless of how much i screw up.

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"i can do all things through christ who strengthens me."

one of my dearest friends showed me this song yesterday. it sums up why i am a christian, and it moves me deeply. in fact, this is the reason i started writing this entry, i just wanted to post it here, then i started crapping on. sorry guys :P haha.

but here it is. not my favourite ever, but it means something to me, and thats all that matters 

:)

anyway, i hope you're all having a great week, sorry for my recent depressing posts. life gets to me sometimes. haha. x