flight number.

theres something about airports that stirs up many thoughts and emotions within me.

people arriving. people rushing. people tripping over when they run over newly mopped floor. people yelling at the people behind the counter. people ordering coffee. people buzzing in security. people leaving. families splitting. couples coming back together. people. everywhere.

the excitement within the walls is almost tangible. makes me want to travel, and maybe never come back. i become a different person when i'm there, and my mood can change in a split second, despite the fact that generally, i'm pretty emotionless. i never miss people when i know i'll see them again, but then there's fear that i won't, or something will happen to them, even though i know it'll be fine.

i love going to airports. they prove to me i'm a normal, feeling person.

this is a gift. it comes with a price.

here i am. a rabbit hearted girl, frozen in the headlights..

..i must become a lionhearted girl, ready for a fight.

baby you're a firework, come on show 'em what you're worth.

this song is amazing. and the film clip makes me unbelievably happy. well done katy :D haha

butterfly.

this song is actually incredible. i'm going to learn guitar over the summer, so i can sing it, and play it, and be cool and chill. because i'm cool. and chill.

but seriously. i'm in love with it. listen.

my friends are damn good film makers.

i have god. thus, i automatically win.

i'm not scared. 

bring it, bitches.

ding ding ding. round one.

and so it begins. tomorrow. the one week challenge of a lifetime. 

JESS AND HANNAH vs GENEVIEVE AND THE MALES

bring it on. thats what i have to say.

its time to get into that "one week or nothing" mentality.

i'm psyched. not gonna lie.

YEE-UH!

who could resist these babes?

back on a roll. diggin.

This song summarises everything i've decided in the last two days. I can't explain how good it feels to get rid of all this stuff I don't need. Bring it on, I say! :D


(oh yeah. youtube wouldn't let me embed, dammit. so here's a picture of him ;) and a link instead)

CLICK HERE TO EXPERIENCE THE AMAZINGNESS THAT IS JOHN MAYER

"Welcome to the real world", she said to me

Condescendingly

Take a seat

Take your life

Plot it out in black and white

Well I never lived the dreams of the prom kings

And the drama queens

I'd like to think the best of me

Is still hiding

Up my sleeve

They love to tell you

Stay inside the lines

That something's better

On the other side

I wanna run through the halls of my high school

I wanna scream at the

Top of my lungs

I just found out there's no such thing as the real world

just a lie you've got to rise above

So the good boys and girls take the so called right track

Faded white hats

Grabbing credits

Maybe transfers

They read all the books but they can't find the answers

And all of our parents

They're getting older

I wonder if they've wished for anything better

While in their memories

Tiny tragedies

They love to tell you

Stay inside the lines

But something's better

On the other side

I wanna run through the halls of my high school

I wanna scream at the

Top of my lungs

I just found out there's no such thing as the real world

Just a lie you got to rise above

I am invincible (x3)

As long as I'm alive

I wanna run through the halls of my high school

I wanna scream at the

Top of my lungs

I just found out there's no such thing as the real world

Just a lie you've got to rise above

I just can't wait til my 10 year reunion

I'm gonna bust down the double doors

And when I stand on these tables before you

You will know what all this time was for

please? :D

if someone wanted to win me over with a song, this would be the way to go about it.

running.

about two minutes ago, i came to the realisation that though i feel as though i'll never fit in anywhere, i am who i am for a reason, and i should really just embrace it.

i'm not talking about the external, but the things that really matter. anyone who knows me well, knows that i'll never stop complaining about the way i look, and i have my reasons for that, but when i look past everything, and look at who i really am, i'm going to force myself to be content.

one thing i'm not is compassionate, however i make up for this in humour, because i'll try to make light of a situation in doing so.

i'm not hardworking, and i lack in motivation a lot of the time, however i am a perfectionist. 

i'm not loud, but i'm definitely not quiet.

i'm not obnoxious, but i have a decent level of confidence.

i'm a realist, not a pessimist. 

i'm artistic, not inventive.

i'm a lover, though not romantic.

i'm sarcastic, not a bitch.

i'm not a liar, but i'm not going to hurt you.

i'm a christian, not religious.

i don't fit in, but someday i will.

i've got one year left before everything i've waited for begins. the sooner i accept these things, the sooner i'll find home. i tell you what, i love knowing i was made me for a reason. most of the time.

for some reason, the word 'running' really motivates me.

you BLANKED a fever in me.

i've been sick before, nothing like this, i swore, the room started spinning..

.. i make my way back to the beginning.

lack of sleep.

if i relaxed, would i be able to sleep properly?
if i was honest with myself, would i be a happier person?
if i swap to accredited, will i regret it?
if i dropped out, would i lose contact with my friends all together?
if i was more open about my faith, would i be more persecuted, or looked up to?


when i move to sydney, will people accept me?
will i be able to cope with the level of study?
will i miss people?
will they miss me?


do i need to change myself?
do people see me as fake?
do i see myself as fake?
do i need to plan things better?


i'm going to win this, and i'm going to win it on my knees.
i need a damn good sleep. i'm not enjoying stress and fatigue.
but i'm actually very happy. promise.