the best of times.

this song is pretty fecking fantastic, as rap goes.

yeah! woo!

seven things that are pissing me off today 

one. i look like freakin shit and all my clothes looked bad on me this morning for some outrageous reason.


two. i am not the only person that lives in this house, and thus i am not the only person that makes all the mess around the place. 


three. i am not bisexual. i wish everyone would stop being like "you so are". 


four. the fact i have to put in effort with everyone if i want any friends at all.


five. work.


six. school work.


seven. the fact that no one likes me because i'm not a tall stick figure woman. i'm curvier than a lot of chicks, deal with it, superficial jerks.


and if you're reading this blog because you're a subscriber, than its none of you. worry not. 


K BYE :)

i want a change. now.

i love my life. though sometimes, i wish it were different.

world record for 'shortest relationship'

David says: (12:52:48 AM)
so this is gonna seem a bit out of the blue


David says: (12:52:51 AM)
but you'll pick it up


David says: (12:52:54 AM)
you wanna go out?

David says: (12:52:57 AM)
(say yes)


David says: (12:52:59 AM)
lol


Jessica. says: (12:53:11 AM)
yes, yes i do.


David says: (12:53:15 AM)
well TOO BAD


David says: (12:53:19 AM)
cause i DUMP you


Jessica. says: (12:53:21 AM)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA


David says: (12:53:30 AM)
how do you feel now?


David says: (12:53:30 AM)
haha


Jessica. says: (12:53:40 AM)
excellent.




gotta love being dumped by your guy best friend..

where is home?

one of my favourite words: home.

noun

1. the place where a person (or family) lives; one's dwelling place; specif.,
   1. the house, apartment, etc. where one lives or is living temporarily; living quarters
   2. the region, city, state, etc. where one lives
2. the place where one was born or reared; one's own city, state, or country
3. a place thought of as home; specif.,
1. a place where one likes to be; restful or congenial place
2. the grave

adjective

1. of home or a home; specif.,
1. of the family, household, etc.; domestic
2. of one's country, government, etc.; domestic
3. of or at the center of activity or operations
2.  reaching its goal; effective; forceful; to the point: a home truth

i love the idea of home. i love going away, and being homesick, as it makes me appreciate home so much more. they say 'home is where the heart is', and so my home is not in a building in the middle of suburban canberra. my home isn't where i was born, and it isn't where i've lived and become attached to. my home isn't at my friends' houses. my home isn't in a church building. my home isn't on the road, at the beach, or in a big city. my home is in me. its with the people, and the things i love.

i don't need a location, though i'd love to find a place where i feel truly at home, because canberra is not obviously it. i just need my friends, my family, my god, and some music. nothing more. throw me in a cardboard box for all i care.

my family forever accepts me, whether i fail at what i do, or succeed with flying colours. they accept my differences, ideas, wants and needs, and still love me just the same. my mother, father, and brother are truly amazing people. they're my home, filled with a love that doesn't need to be verbalised.

my true friends accept me for who i am, despite my constant loud outbursts and negative tendencies. they don't care how i dress, and they don't care what i'm into. they only care that i care about them, and i feel the same. i love them, and so over the years, they've become my home.

my home lies with god, who will never, ever let me down. even though i screw up constantly and sometimes neglect him, he still loves me, and his love will never fail. 

my home is with my music, it'll make me dance like crazy even though i know full-well i can't dance for the life of me. it can change my mood instantly. it can make me both love, and hate something. i feel at home next to a piano, behind a bass, blowing over a flute mouthpiece, and singing at the top of my lungs, no matter how out of key it may be. it makes me feel amazing.

i don't need a knitted blanket from my grandma, a nice cup of tea and a comfy chair in a nice little room to feel warm and cosy in my house. just the people and things i need. whats a home without love?

i'm gonna run away pretty soon, and i don't know where i'm going, but i know i'm going to learn a lot. i'll be far from home, with long highways, and potentially oceans between us. its a scary thought, but an amazing thought, and i can't wait for it all to begin. i expect that i'll be a starving student with hardly enough money to scrape by, but i love knowing that i'm going to make it some day, and prove a heap of people wrong.

so where is home? for me, nowhere really. nowhere in the physical. i like it that way. 

i can't wait to build my own home. wherever, and whoever it may be with.

oh, and below are two of my favourite songs ever. enjoy. they go with my little home theme!  :D

sweet tooth.

i like following trends. i also like hating them.

i like some people, i dislike others.

i like some music, i hate some.

i fall in love when i choose, and ignore it when i feel like it.

sometimes i like photos, sometimes i hate them.

sometimes i wish i was different, but most of the time i don't.
I LIKE LOLLIES. but some taste bad, so i don't eat them.

i dig my life, and i like the fact i can make whatever choices i want. 

freedom is the bomb.

my life, is very much, a 

pick 'n' mix 

counter.

so many flavours. shit yeah.

i just wanted to make a lolly reference, okay?

trying.

i'm trying to be a better person, and part of this is trying to be a better friend. and i try really hard to make you feel appreciated. though i may not verbalise it, i still try through my actions, and so when people never return the favour, or don't want to listen to me, or don't make an effort to contact me, and then expect me to be there in a second, yeah. that really pisses me off.

i'm not angry, and i'm not singling anyone out either. i already know that i'm kind of different to everyone and so people probably don't like me that much, but i always have to put in the effort if i want any form of human contact whatsoever. i could deal with this if people put in an effort with me once in a while, but this hardly ever happens.

feeling like this makes things hard for me, i kind of already have enough things to deal with.
apologies, i don't mean to offend. i think i'm having one of my pre-migraine-blindness mood swings. i'm going to bed. night.