where is home?

one of my favourite words: home.

noun

1. the place where a person (or family) lives; one's dwelling place; specif.,
   1. the house, apartment, etc. where one lives or is living temporarily; living quarters
   2. the region, city, state, etc. where one lives
2. the place where one was born or reared; one's own city, state, or country
3. a place thought of as home; specif.,
1. a place where one likes to be; restful or congenial place
2. the grave

adjective

1. of home or a home; specif.,
1. of the family, household, etc.; domestic
2. of one's country, government, etc.; domestic
3. of or at the center of activity or operations
2.  reaching its goal; effective; forceful; to the point: a home truth

i love the idea of home. i love going away, and being homesick, as it makes me appreciate home so much more. they say 'home is where the heart is', and so my home is not in a building in the middle of suburban canberra. my home isn't where i was born, and it isn't where i've lived and become attached to. my home isn't at my friends' houses. my home isn't in a church building. my home isn't on the road, at the beach, or in a big city. my home is in me. its with the people, and the things i love.

i don't need a location, though i'd love to find a place where i feel truly at home, because canberra is not obviously it. i just need my friends, my family, my god, and some music. nothing more. throw me in a cardboard box for all i care.

my family forever accepts me, whether i fail at what i do, or succeed with flying colours. they accept my differences, ideas, wants and needs, and still love me just the same. my mother, father, and brother are truly amazing people. they're my home, filled with a love that doesn't need to be verbalised.

my true friends accept me for who i am, despite my constant loud outbursts and negative tendencies. they don't care how i dress, and they don't care what i'm into. they only care that i care about them, and i feel the same. i love them, and so over the years, they've become my home.

my home lies with god, who will never, ever let me down. even though i screw up constantly and sometimes neglect him, he still loves me, and his love will never fail. 

my home is with my music, it'll make me dance like crazy even though i know full-well i can't dance for the life of me. it can change my mood instantly. it can make me both love, and hate something. i feel at home next to a piano, behind a bass, blowing over a flute mouthpiece, and singing at the top of my lungs, no matter how out of key it may be. it makes me feel amazing.

i don't need a knitted blanket from my grandma, a nice cup of tea and a comfy chair in a nice little room to feel warm and cosy in my house. just the people and things i need. whats a home without love?

i'm gonna run away pretty soon, and i don't know where i'm going, but i know i'm going to learn a lot. i'll be far from home, with long highways, and potentially oceans between us. its a scary thought, but an amazing thought, and i can't wait for it all to begin. i expect that i'll be a starving student with hardly enough money to scrape by, but i love knowing that i'm going to make it some day, and prove a heap of people wrong.

so where is home? for me, nowhere really. nowhere in the physical. i like it that way. 

i can't wait to build my own home. wherever, and whoever it may be with.

oh, and below are two of my favourite songs ever. enjoy. they go with my little home theme!  :D