Monday, March 28, 2011
Sunday, March 27, 2011
maybe i think too much.
Usually I'm not one to care, but sometimes, I really wish I was more stereotypically girly than I am. Although I may love makeup and I spend more time blow drying/straightening than any human should, in my thought process, I'm just not that, well, girly I guess.
I never ever let it get to me until the last couple of weeks, where a couple of amazing events occurred that sent me over the moon and made me feel like I was going to die of a heart attack because I was just that happy. I guess I've just realised that I'm sick of this 'I'm so strong' part of my personality. I don't really know why I developed like this. I have very clear memories of slapping people when they'd tease me as a child, and defending myself and my friends when people would pick on us, but I always assumed that most children reacted to things in that way, and that I wasn't especially tough. They mean well, they really do, but everyone tells me how much of a hard-ass I am all the time. I'm really starting to wish I wasn't like this. Part of me takes pride in it. Part of me hates it.
I'm sure I've been made that way for a reason. I am absolutely certain that someday my lack of undisguised emotion will help me through circumstances where someone less than 'a pillar of strength' (not that I'd call myself that, exactly) will crumble and burst into tears, but I would love to be slightly softer. A 'hopeless romantic' for all things breathing, if you will.
I still feel, dream, and love like a normal person. Perhaps for me, expressing my true self and my own emotions will be something I acquire with maturity, rather than something I was just born with. Maybe this is the reason I feel a little bit different to everyone else. Or maybe its more than that. Eh.
I hate the amount of times I say 'I' in this blog. Apologies.
I never ever let it get to me until the last couple of weeks, where a couple of amazing events occurred that sent me over the moon and made me feel like I was going to die of a heart attack because I was just that happy. I guess I've just realised that I'm sick of this 'I'm so strong' part of my personality. I don't really know why I developed like this. I have very clear memories of slapping people when they'd tease me as a child, and defending myself and my friends when people would pick on us, but I always assumed that most children reacted to things in that way, and that I wasn't especially tough. They mean well, they really do, but everyone tells me how much of a hard-ass I am all the time. I'm really starting to wish I wasn't like this. Part of me takes pride in it. Part of me hates it.I'm sure I've been made that way for a reason. I am absolutely certain that someday my lack of undisguised emotion will help me through circumstances where someone less than 'a pillar of strength' (not that I'd call myself that, exactly) will crumble and burst into tears, but I would love to be slightly softer. A 'hopeless romantic' for all things breathing, if you will.
I still feel, dream, and love like a normal person. Perhaps for me, expressing my true self and my own emotions will be something I acquire with maturity, rather than something I was just born with. Maybe this is the reason I feel a little bit different to everyone else. Or maybe its more than that. Eh.
I hate the amount of times I say 'I' in this blog. Apologies.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Thursday, March 10, 2011
LIVE OUT LOUD!
GOT NOTHING TO DO TOMORROW NIGHT?!
(thats friday, march eleven)
"no jess, i don't :/ "
WELL, GET YO' ASS TO THIS INCREDIBLE EVENT!! :D
'awesome funtimes. heaps of young people. free bbq. kulture break. qld's cam bennett. aaaaand the drench youth band (which i happen to be in, so come if you love me).
see you all there people. its going to be so so so so so good :D
look at this quiz i found!
bored.
NINE WHAT’S:
Have you ever dated someone younger than you?
kind of.
Have you ever read an entire book in one day?
yeah.
SEVEN WHO’S:
Why are you doing this survey?
because i'm listening to music and wanted something else to do whilst i did that.
THREE IF’S:
TEN HOW’S:
How did you get one of your scars?
a stick. while i was walking. everyone told me to man up, but now i have a hectic purple stripe on my foot.
How did you celebrate your last birthday?
with my best friends, and my family.
How are you feeling at this moment?
weird. really, really weird.
How did your night go last night?
yeah really good actually :)
How did you do in high school?
just passed. amazingly.
How did you get the shirt you’re wearing?
i walked into general pants, and i was like 'i'll buy that'. cool story.
How often do you see ur best friend?
i see all of them pretty often, luckily.
How much money did you spend last month?
far too much.
How old do you want to be when you get married?
maybe like, 24/25?
How old will you be at your next birthday?
eighteen.
a stick. while i was walking. everyone told me to man up, but now i have a hectic purple stripe on my foot.
How did you celebrate your last birthday?
with my best friends, and my family.
How are you feeling at this moment?
weird. really, really weird.
How did your night go last night?
yeah really good actually :)
How did you do in high school?
just passed. amazingly.
How did you get the shirt you’re wearing?
i walked into general pants, and i was like 'i'll buy that'. cool story.
How often do you see ur best friend?
i see all of them pretty often, luckily.
How much money did you spend last month?
far too much.
How old do you want to be when you get married?
maybe like, 24/25?
How old will you be at your next birthday?
eighteen.
NINE WHAT’S:
Your mothers name?
roz.
What did you do last weekend?
party on up.
What is the most important part of your life?
jesus. music. family. friends.
What would you rather be doing?
nothing much. too lazy hey.
What did you last cry over?
it was an anger outlet.
What always makes you feel better when you’re upset?
chilling out to some music, drinking peppermint tea (i dont know why, but it seems to fix everything for me.. haha), standing around in the shower for ages and chucking on some pjs. yeah.
What’s the most important thing you look for in a significant other?
trustworthiness. sense of humour. determination. good work ethic.
What are you worried about?
friday. money.
What did you have for breakfast?
nothing at all.
EIGHT HAVE YOU’S:
roz.
What did you do last weekend?
party on up.
What is the most important part of your life?
jesus. music. family. friends.
What would you rather be doing?
nothing much. too lazy hey.
What did you last cry over?
it was an anger outlet.
What always makes you feel better when you’re upset?
chilling out to some music, drinking peppermint tea (i dont know why, but it seems to fix everything for me.. haha), standing around in the shower for ages and chucking on some pjs. yeah.
What’s the most important thing you look for in a significant other?
trustworthiness. sense of humour. determination. good work ethic.
What are you worried about?
friday. money.
What did you have for breakfast?
nothing at all.
EIGHT HAVE YOU’S:
Have you ever liked someone who had a girlfriend/boyfriend?
probs.
Have you ever had your heartbroken?
maybe.
Have you ever been out of the country?
sure have.
Have you ever done something outrageously dumb?
everyday.
Have you ever been back stabbed by a friend?
who hasn't?
Have you ever had sex on the beach?
no.
probs.
Have you ever had your heartbroken?
maybe.
Have you ever been out of the country?
sure have.
Have you ever done something outrageously dumb?
everyday.
Have you ever been back stabbed by a friend?
who hasn't?
Have you ever had sex on the beach?
no.
Have you ever dated someone younger than you?
kind of.
Have you ever read an entire book in one day?
yeah.
SEVEN WHO’S:
Who was the last person you saw?
dad.
Who was the last person you texted?
nat-hahhn.
Who was the last person you hungout with?
youth people.
Who was the last person to call you?
dave. but i missed it. whoops.
Who did you last hug?
maybe grace?
Who is the last person who texted you?
nat-hahhnn..
Who was the last person you said “i love you” to?
i don't even know. i've never been one to say it that often. strange, i know.
SIX WHERE?S:
dad.
Who was the last person you texted?
nat-hahhn.
Who was the last person you hungout with?
youth people.
Who was the last person to call you?
dave. but i missed it. whoops.
Who did you last hug?
maybe grace?
Who is the last person who texted you?
nat-hahhnn..
Who was the last person you said “i love you” to?
i don't even know. i've never been one to say it that often. strange, i know.
SIX WHERE?S:
Where does your best friend live?
they all live in canberra.
Where did you last go?
church.
Where did you last hang out?
music rooms.
Where do you go to school?
cc bro.
Where is your favorite place to be?
sydney.
Where did you sleep last night?
here.
FIVE DO’S/DOES:
they all live in canberra.
Where did you last go?
church.
Where did you last hang out?
music rooms.
Where do you go to school?
cc bro.
Where is your favorite place to be?
sydney.
Where did you sleep last night?
here.
FIVE DO’S/DOES:
Do you like someone right now?
yeop.
Do you think anyone likes you?
yeeeop.
Do you ever wish you were someone else?
sometimes. but then i realise how stupid that is and get over it.
Do you know the muffin man?
THE MUFFIN MAN?!
Does the future scare you?
no, it makes me freakin excited.
FOUR WHY’S:
yeop.
Do you think anyone likes you?
yeeeop.
Do you ever wish you were someone else?
sometimes. but then i realise how stupid that is and get over it.
Do you know the muffin man?
THE MUFFIN MAN?!
Does the future scare you?
no, it makes me freakin excited.
FOUR WHY’S:
Why are you best friends with your best friend(s)?
because they are the most brilliant people i've ever had to fortune to come across in my entire life, and i love them so much its unbelievable.
Why did you get a myspace?
because it was way cool to have one in year seven. haha.
Why did your parents give you the name you have?
originally it was going to be siobhan or bonnie, but they didnt go too well with my last name.
because they are the most brilliant people i've ever had to fortune to come across in my entire life, and i love them so much its unbelievable.
Why did you get a myspace?
because it was way cool to have one in year seven. haha.
Why did your parents give you the name you have?
originally it was going to be siobhan or bonnie, but they didnt go too well with my last name.
jessica was never an option, until i was born, and apparently it just kind of came out of my mothers mouth, and so it was.
Why are you doing this survey?
because i'm listening to music and wanted something else to do whilst i did that.
THREE IF’S:
If you could have one super power what would it be?
i'd be a flying mind reader.
i'd be a flying mind reader.
-shifty eyes-
If you could go back in time and change one thing, would you?
no.
If u were stranded on a deserted island & could bring one thing what would you bring?
i'd bring my friends. but merge them into one super person..
TWO WOULD-YOU-EVER’S:
If you could go back in time and change one thing, would you?
no.
If u were stranded on a deserted island & could bring one thing what would you bring?
i'd bring my friends. but merge them into one super person..
TWO WOULD-YOU-EVER’S:
Would you ever get back together with any of your ex’s if they asked you?
hm. one or two, if they'd matured a little. the rest of them? no. they're my ex's for a reason.
Would you ever shave your head to save someone you love?
of course. but when is that ever going to come up in a real life situation? haha.
ONE LAST QUESTION
hm. one or two, if they'd matured a little. the rest of them? no. they're my ex's for a reason.
Would you ever shave your head to save someone you love?
of course. but when is that ever going to come up in a real life situation? haha.
ONE LAST QUESTION
Are you happy with your life right now?
sure am. things are cruising along nicely.
sure am. things are cruising along nicely.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
klavier.
its funny the way the simplest of things make you realise how much you care about what you never thought you would. how they can make you realise who you really miss and who you could do without, what your dreams are, who you love, and where you want to go next.
heart-wrenching, in the most perfect of ways.
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